Getting Off The Hamster Wheel
Content creation, productivity, and the inability to rest
Help.
I’ve been so productive lately. Not to brag, but seriously! I’ve been on a roll.
I started this substack a little over a week ago. Since then I’ve published a new article every day.
I’ve also gotten several new apps in the wake of the TikTok chaos: Bluesky, Red Note, Discord. This one. I also downloaded Ground News, and so far I see why people call it the best news source.
The beginning of this month, my area experienced rolling blackouts as a precaution because of fire conditions. The lack of light and wifi drove me from my homebody cocoon to local coffee shops.
For a couple days there, I visited a different coffee shop every day. And I got so much done!! I actually restarted a few old projects I’d long ago set aside.
I even dabbled in writing fiction again.
I’ve been writing poetry, and even sharing it. On the 18th, I attended a poetry open mic for the first time ever.
Then there’s music. I’ve been writing, learning new music, and preparing to get back into the studio to record my next single. I’m getting ready for shows in February, and beyond.
There’s also my library books, my day job, my bedroom and bathroom in need of cleaning, my cat to take care of, a car to take in to the mechanic…
Oh dear.
How much productivity is enough?
The productivity beast is insatiable. If I knock out a whole to-do list, it demands I make another.
At the end of most days, I find myself procrastinating bedtime. My brain casts around for something—anything—to do.
Cuz surely I need to be doing something more, right?
When have I done enough? When can I give myself permission to rest?
Sometimes it seems productivity is a hamster wheel not worth getting on in the first place.
Yeah, you see results, but at what cost?
When Duolingo creeps back into my life, I know I’m trouble.
I find myself saying yes to more and more commitments and ideas and projects. To be honest, I’ve always struggled to grasp the concept of priority.
For the most part, it all seems equally important to me.
I have to keep up with news, right? I have to write—articles, songs, poems, diary entries, etc. I have to help my sister prepare for the release of her first single; I have to attend every local event ever in the name of community.
But the productivity beast demands more.
Learn a new language. Learn to edit videos. Be more social—but not like that!
You can always tell I’m getting a lot done by how much you hear from me. When I’m being really productive, I tend to isolate from my friends.
Why spend energy on conversation when I need that energy for my countless projects? And, no, I don’t have time to “just hang out”.
Didn’t you hear me? I’m being PRODUCTIVE!
The word starts to feel meaningless through overuse.
How can this all be turned into content?
So, productivity’s turning into a rat race and I know I need to rest.
How should I rest?
Read my library books? Ooh, I could make a TikTok about my library haul while I’m at it! Write an article about the importance of libraries?
Take an aesthetic picture of book, candle, and coffee to post…somewhere?
Wait, what am I doing!!
Social media, especially being a content creator, can train your brain to look for possible content everywhere.
While I maintain finding inspiration everywhere is a good thing, there’s a time and a place.
Rest isn’t rest if it has an audience. Same with fun, and with learning.
It can be hard to turn off that filter, to stop looking at your life through the eyes of an invisible audience and just start…living it.
And, frankly, I don’t really have answers.
How do I rest, for real?
I don’t have advice. I don’t have tips. I don’t have solutions.
I’ve been running on a hamster wheel that I don’t know how to get off of. Don’t fully want to get off.
Because this is what I love. I love to write. I love to create. I love learning, reading, etc.
It’s far too easy to get burned out. When you can’t quit your day job, burn out might have you quitting your passions.
I don’t wanna do that. Obviously.
But sometimes I wish it was as easy to clock in and out of being a creative, the way I clock in and out at the restaurant.
Maybe my inability to rest has to do with my methods of rest looking too much like my methods of productivity.
I stare at a screen all day, working on my projects. And then, half the time, I stare at a screen all night, in the name of relaxation.
I read books to learn and get inspired, but I also read books to relax. When I’ve spent all day on writing meant to be shared, I sometimes switch to recreational writing.
So I don’t think it’s quite as simple as unplugging.
Maybe it’s a mental battle. Maybe it’s a matter of switching things up and trying something new. Maybe I need a psychiatrist.
But I’m sure many content creators and creatives in general can relate to this.
Is life nothing more than a mine to get content from? Is rest nothing more than a boring imperative to keep from literally losing your mind?
How much productivity is enough? And is there such thing as too much?
I don’t know. Maybe this can be the part where you give me advice.